Changes

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In life sometimes you have to look and see where you are and what the past has taught you. In the last year I have really been working on myself and want to share.

When I first started this blog it was with the intention. of sharing my life as well as the books I was reading. It became just books, as I wasn’t ready to share a lot of things. Now that I am older I see that things that I went through and what I have been doing can empower others in many ways. Which was my goal in starting this! I listened to the naysayers, the doubters, and the people who wouldnt want my story out there. Now it is time to tell it.

I was not an insecure person I was a strong willed person that got sucked into a relationship where I was verbally and physically abused for years. It was embarrassing and I felt stuck. I know many people who were able to get out of situations like this. I felt they would look down at me for staying. I lost many friends, and myself. I told myself he provides a roof over my head, he apolgized, we went on vacation, the kids and I have all the new things. and the best excuse was I can’t provide for myself and my kids.

Did I have a beautiful house? Yes I did. Did my family and “friends” come over for dinners and parties all the time? Yes they did, until they didn’t. When we lost our beautiful house and had bought a business, I thought things would change. They never change. I would pray to God to help me get out of this mess and I was still there for years. I felt hopeless.

The thing is when I was finally able to leave he was sick. I couldn’t leave I knew he needed me. I asked God , why does this keep happening to me. No matter how many things he called me, threw at me, or even pushed me around, I had to take care of him.

I have to say even though I stayed and it wasn’t healthy for my children or me, I learned alot. After he passed I learned I can handle bills on my own, how to budget to still live life, and am still learning to love myself.

I also have a supportive tribe now of people who guide me and listen when I talk. This is important when learning to love yourself. I am going to be using this blog to empower others, by giving tips on ways to love yourself. Please share anything you would like. I am not a counselor orin the medical field. I am a woman who is empowered by the grace of God.

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