I am Perfectly Imperfect, I am missing eyelashes, I have numerous scars some you can see some you can’t, my hair is what it is, I am not a size 6 but it’s me and I love myself most of the time. There are times when it is hard but I think about all I have been through in life, how much weight I have lost, and I am proud of what I have become, the friends I have made, and the surrounding of love I have around me now. When I see the fat that is there and the double chin I have to remember  that there was a point where my breathing was hard and my chin was twice the size. When I feel the pain in my back from an injury many years ago I thank God I can still move. Everyday is a struggle for me whether we are a six 0 or a size 24 we all have our insecurities and we need to overcome them and remember that we are all #PerfectlyImperfect.  Thank you to Harper Sloan for starting this on FB and for all her fans and friends who were wiling to share their pictures and stories.

   Mirror, mirror … who’s the fairest of them all?

I still cringe when I hear that line. A fairy tale that had girls pretending they were the fairest, the most beautiful, and the most entitled. A fairy tale most couldn’t grow out of turned my haunted childhood memories into a living nightmare. Girls who grew up believing that pile of garbage became the meanest of all ‘mean girls.’ And those mean girls were right – it was a line meant for all the beautiful people in the world – and I knew the answer would never be me. The women with long legs, flat stomachs, and perfect chests. The type of women Kane Masters gravitated toward. Well, that’s definitely not Willow Tate. No. That will never be me. Because I’m completely imperfect.  And … I hate myself.  I have no idea what Kane could possibly see in someone like me when he could have them.

Amazon

Book description copied from Amazon

Diversity | Definition of Diversity by Merriam-Webster
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/diversity
Merriam‑Webster
Simple Definition of diversity. : the quality or state of having many different forms, types, ideas, etc. : the state of having people who are different races or who have different cultures in a group or organization.

Growing up I remember everyone getting along, the neighbors watched out for each other, the kids all played together. Now it seems everyone is for themselves and there is not a sense of being neighborly.

Yesterday someone posted the following and was hit by a bunch of negative and mean posts. I am reposting this as  I agree with it and I am sorry if you don’t however everyone is entitled to their opinion:

Today is National Chocolate cake day so take all your troubles and drown them in a slice of chocolate cake.

I am posting this with permission from Sarah Hegger,

There are many people who are alone, or in a bad situation, maybe it’s your neighbor, your coworker who wears a fake smile all the time, or someone in your family, they  just may need a pick me up with Valentines Day coming, some authors came together to start the Send a Little Love initiative.  Beginning on February 1 you can send a complimentary book to someone. Share your love of reading send them a book by an author you love. You can check out the website here.

Send a Little Love

Hi Terry,

When I came up with this idea it was built out of my deeply held belief that we can impact the larger world by how we impact those in our immediate circle. I can’t cure world hunger, or wipe out the abuse against women, but I can make one woman who is having a hard time smile, and even if it is for just a moment, know that she has value and is loved. I firmly believe that an act of kindness, however small, has a knock on effect. We never know how we impact strangers, both positively and negatively, and I think if we all made an effort to treat the people we encounter on a daily basis with respect. compassion and kindness it could go a long way to influencing the larger environment. Kristi, Xio and Heidi, jumped on board and have run with this and given so much time and energy to make this happen. Tracey came on board to help build the site, but she’s been invaluable and also so generous with her time and skills. And, of course, all the authors who loved the idea and willingly donated their books for this cause.

For many years I was not in touch with my emotions, I was the toughest girl around. You could say anything to me and I didn’t care. I took on the tough attitude and no matter what who cares. This is what tends to happen when you are in an abusive relationship. All day everyday you hear how you are ugly, pathetic, stupid, fat, you don’t know how to treat a man, and that is just some of them. Being in an abusive relationship changes your world you become a liar, and a fake. Even though your friends and relatives know what is going on they can’t help, you complain to them but unless you are ready to go you will never leave.

They control everything about you, your money, what you wear, where you go, they move you away from your family and your friends and make it so you feel like you don’t have anyone.

I was with my husband for fifteen years. I saw the signs in the beginning but I was this twenty something with three kids by two different fathers, struggling every day to make things work. He wanted me and loved me or so I thought. By the time I realized what was going on I was pregnant with his child. He bought me a ring and a house and we were going to be happy. Everything was ok the first couple years. Then all hell started breaking loose, he cheated on me and that was the beginning of it all. The name calling, locking me out of our room, boy did I become good at taking the doorknobs off. He was also my boss and would hardly give me any hours so I could never save enough money to get out. I would spend hours cleaning the house and he would come home and say how disgusting and dirty the house was.

There were plenty of good days to the days we went to dinner, he would surprise me with gifts and vacations, usually the bigger the gift the bigger the thing he was trying to apologize for.

Then he wanted my kids out one at a time he would start with them and I was afraid for them my oldest already was with my ex I sent my next one with my ex when I felt the abuse was getting worse for him. Then he started on my daughter the mental damage that was done to her I had to put her in a facility to get her better.

You say how can a Mother allow this to happen I don’t have an answer all I know is I felt trapped. Every time I had an escape plan something would happen to make it so I was stuck there. The final straw was when I was moving out I had an apartment and everything than the doctor called to tell me he was going on dialysis. I sat on the floor and cried for hours and swore I would never cry again or let him get to me. I had to suck it up and take care of him. I did for two more years whether he was throwing things at me, pushing me around, smacking me upside the head, telling me I was fat and ugly. Yes, I was huge but the mental stress I was under didn’t help. Than my youngest pulled me aside one day and said I know that all of this isn’t your fault it is all him.

That was what it took for me to get my life in gear I made him purchase a house for me as I knew his time was coming to an end. We moved in May, his dialysis started, abused me in some way shape or form every day, I didn’t care I hid my books in the bathroom and escaped for hours everyday.

In August my youngest said if Daddy lives two more weeks I will be surprised. I said your Dad is very sick and when God is ready to take him he will and we will be strong and make it. Exactly two weeks later he went in the hospital for a week, when he was released the whole way home he kept apologizing and telling me he didn’t feel good. He walked in the house and fifteen minutes later he had a major heart attack.

This was the last day of his life and the beginning of my healing and my children’s healing as well. The point of this story is that this was almost three years ago. My children and I have all bonded again, we are in a better place, and my life is moving along. Yes, I am still single as much as I would like to meet someone I don’t know if I can ever give that much of my self away again. I am always going be very careful when I meet someone as I will always have doubts. I am a work in progress and have met many great people who support me now and know that I am a strong and beautiful person.

Thank you for listening to my story

Some people can sit at home all day everyday with no problem, I am home one day with a snow storm and feel like a caged animal. It is not like I am not a homebody its just the thought that nothing is opened and I am stuck at home.
I had my day planned out bonding with my cousin, chili in the crockpot, some cleaning, lots of reading, and some wine. I also thought I may run to the local convenience store that is not happening. There is fourteen inches of snow right now and it is still falling. My poor dog goes out and it is up to his chest. Well tomorrow is another day and I will be out and about. see my page for some book recommendations for a snowy day.

Over the next couple days I will be posting some book recommendations for the snow storm. Don’t forget to get your wine and your books. Enjoy the snow

Tomorrow my daughter gets her wisdom teeth pulled and she is nervous. Last time she had a cavity filled her lip swelled up and it still has a bump in it. We didn’t find out until a month ago that there  is sulfur in the Novocain. She is allergic to sulfur, the oral surgeon told her he will use a different numbing agent but it will not last as long after the surgery. We are always having new experiences when it comes to my daughter. Sometimes  I wonder if it is because of the medications she  is on or if she is just wired differently. Anyway we are keeping our chins up and praying for the best.

Everyday I am learning more and more. This year with help I have learned how to blog, sometimes I probably bore you but I am on a learning slide. I figured out how to change my theme and I am starting school tomorrow, scary.

I have learned in life that life is short and you never know what is in the store for so I am choosing to learn new things and live life to the fullest.

Who remembers getting up on Sunday dressing up going to church than to you Grandparent’s house for dinner every Sunday. Some Sunday’s we got lucky and Grandpop took us to Staten Island instead to have the true Italian lunch that would last for hours, and everyone drank the homemade wine there.

Now to today, I woke up took my daughter to basketball, stopped at my Mom’s to deliver Girl Scout cookies ,she wasn’t home but my son and his girlfriend came home so I saw one of my children. Ran errands and came home luckily my oldest came over with girlfriend. I stilled managed to see all 4 children today but it is not the same everything is always so rushed.

I never made it to church and family day is gone. I really tried to keep Sunday family day together but we have so much going on it is almost impossible. I hate to see how different this will be in another twenty years.